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Self Love: 5 steps to finding true love, mindfully

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So often we fluctuate between the deep, inner knowing that we are enough – a confirmation of our self-love, and the innate, biological yearning to be intimate. 

As women, we sometimes battle with understanding the difference between this inner desire and the conditioning that we receive from society – from Disney movies to family expectations. And so we find ourselves on a never-ending wheel of looking for love – inside and out. 

When we observe ourselves over time we find that whether we’re in a relationship or not, we still feel insecurity creeping up on us and we begin to wonder if those feelings of security that we once felt were real, tangible things, or if they were simply illusions. 

Yogis and spiritual masters can help us to understand where this deep longing comes from, and how to find peace and self love first and foremost, from within. 

1. Be present

Instead of using your energy to wish that a situation were different, how would it feel to focus your attention on simply being? We can do this at any given moment – however peaceful or turbulent. Mindful meditation helps us to find this sense of presence, no matter how chaotic our external environment. And although the turmoil of life can often interfere with our sense of inner peace, setting aside time each day to formally sit in mindful meditation can certainly help us to weather the storms more gracefully – both externally and internally. Even five minutes a day can make a big difference. Simply sit and watch your breath, and see how the awareness you cultivate in this space begins to flow into other areas of your life. 

2. Listen to your body

A great lesson that we learn from yoga and meditation is body awareness. As we tune into our physical sensations we eventually begin to see a correlation between them and our emotional tensions. Western science is continuing to uncover the ways in which we can store our feelings within the physical body. This tension is held within the deep tissues and has the potential to express our subconscious thoughts and feelings. Start to be aware of the sensations in your body, developing curiosity about what they might be communicating. You can use these insights to guide your decisions and act in a way that is more loving towards yourself and others. 

3. Nurture your inner child

To find true love within yourself, you must get to know the little child within. Listen to that child, find out what she needs, and respond in the best way that you can – from your grown up perspective. Perhaps your inner child needs to feel heard or comforted. How could you do that for yourself now? When you notice yourself experiencing strong emotions or being triggered by something seemingly minor, see if you can sit with the feeling and find out what your inner child needs. Your subconscious, little you may be reacting to a trauma from the past, and often this has little to do with the current situation.  

4. Learn the art of letting go

Sometimes we feel compelled to seek love outside of ourselves. In doing so, we demand safety and security from another, inevitably creating insecurity within ourselves. When we rely on another to make us feel good, we lose the ability to take control of our own self worth. We cannot force someone else to validate or love us – that needs to come from within. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. When you truly love someone, you do not require them to love you back, and when you truly love yourself, you can let go of seeking, wanting and pursuing, and be content with all that is. As the Buddha said, “you can only lose what you cling to.”

5. Make self-love your number one priority

From this place of genuine self-love that doesn’t rely on external validation, you put yourself in the best position to love others and be loved. If you truly loved yourself, you wouldn’t need others to make you feel good. Instead, you could enjoy the delight of your own company. Develop the habit of continually asking yourself the question: What would I do if I loved myself?

About the author:

Jessica Humphries is a yoga teacher, writer and editor for Australian Yoga Journal. Find out more at www.jesshumphries.com 

NATURAL WAYS TO SUPPORT THE TRANSITION THROUGH MENOPAUSE

 

Menopause is a natural part of any woman’s life. The symptoms associated with the hormonal changes that take place during this time can be uncomfortable and unpleasant. Fortunately, there are a variety of dietary, herbal, and lifestyle modifications that you can discuss with your doctor that can naturally support the body through this transition and help minimize symptoms.

The following is a list of natural remedies that have generally been found to be helpful for managing the symptoms of menopause. You’ll quickly notice patterns of certain recommendations that can have far-reaching effects across several symptoms! Just remember: These are not magic-bullet solutions. All individuals are unique, and results may vary.

Be sure to consult your healthcare provider before taking any herbs or supplements. It is very important that these be approved by a doctor, as many have contraindications with certain medications or medical conditions.

 

DRY SKIN

Dietary Recommendations:

Consume bone broth.

Minimise consumption of caffeine and alcohol.

Seeds (pumpkin, sesame, sunflower)

Wild-caught fatty fish (mackerel, tuna, salmon)

Walnuts

Herbs and Supplements:

Collagen peptides

Fish oil

Geranium essential oil

DōTERRA Life Long Vitality Supplements

Lifestyle Modifications:

Apply sunscreen with SPF 15 or higher when exposed to sun.

Avoid smoking.

Drink lots of water to stay well hydrated.

Moisturise with coconut oil, mineral oil, or petroleum jelly after bathing.

Use gentle soaps free of harsh chemicals and scents.

ESTROGEN BALANCE

Dietary Recommendations:

Cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts)

Non-GMO whole soy (tofu, tempeh, miso, edamame)

Herbs and Supplements:

Vitex (also known as chasteberry)

Life Long Vitality Supplements DōTERRA

Lifestyle Modifications:

Avoid plastics and toxic chemicals with known endocrine disruptors. 

Maintain a healthy weight.

HOT FLASHES AND NIGHT SWEATS

Dietary Recommendations:

Experiment with eliminating gluten.

Flax seeds

Maca

Minimise consumption of caffeine, alcohol, and spicy foods.

Non-GMO whole soy (tofu, tempeh, miso, edamame)

Pomegranate seeds and oil

Herbs and Supplements:

Clary sage oil

Lifestyle Modifications:

Acupuncture

Balanced breathing exercises

Dress in loose fitting, layered clothing

Engage in moderate exercise, regularly.

Practice restorative yoga.

JOINT PAIN

Dietary Recommendations:

Cherries

Cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts) • Experiment with eliminating gluten.

Healthy oils (avocado, olive, safflower, walnut)

Wild-caught fatty fish

Herbs and Supplements:

Cayenne

Citrus essential oil

Nettle

Turmeric root

Lifestyle Modifications:

Acupuncture

Low impact exercise

LOW LIBIDO

Dietary Recommendations:

Avocados

Avoid excess alcohol consumption.

Bananas

Brazil nuts

Dark chocolate

Figs

Vitamin C rich foods (broccoli, citrus, red peppers)

Herbs and Supplements:

Ashwagandha

Citrus essential oil

Maca

  Red ginseng tea

Sandalwood essential oil

Lifestyle Modifications:

Kegel exercises

Moderate exercise

Engage in sensual and sexual pleasure.

MOOD SWINGS

Dietary Recommendations:

Experiment with eliminating gluten. 

Flax seeds

Leafy greens

Organic eggs

Organic yogurt

Sardines

Walnuts

Wild-caught fatty fish

Fish oil

St. John’s Wort

LifeLong Vitality Supplements DoTERRA

Lifestyle Modifications:

Acupuncture

Meditation

Moderate exercise

POOR SLEEP

Dietary Recommendations:

Crowd out sugar.

Limit caffeine; avoid altogether in the afternoon and evening.

  Herbs and Supplements:

Lavender tea

DoTERRA Lavender Peace, Vetiver essential oil 

Lifestyle Modifications:

Ban electronics from the bedroom.

Create a bedtime routine.

Limit exposure to blue light from electronics in the evening.

Practice restorative yoga before bedtime.

PROTECTION AGAINST OSTEOPOROSIS

Dietary Recommendations:

Almonds

Cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts) • High quality protein (plant or animal)

Leafy greens

Oranges

Sweet potatoes

Herbs and Supplements:

Calcium supplements

Clary sage oil

Vitamin D

Lifestyle Modifications:

Avoid smoking.

Limit consumption of alcohol.

Regularly engage in low-impact exercise.

VAGINAL DRYNESS

Dietary Recommendations:

Pomegranate seeds

• Seeds (pumpkin, sesame, sunflower) • Walnuts

Wild-caught fatty fish

Herbs and Supplements:

Pomegranate oil

Tea tree oil

Lifestyle Modifications:

Avoid using soaps with harsh chemicals or scents in the vaginal region.

Drink lots of water to stay well hydrated.

Practice moderate cardio several times a week.

Use organic lubricant.

 

If you are not yet a DoTERRA wholesale customer of mine and would like to become one, please click here to join today. You will receive 25% off all orders and have me as your personal wellness advocate. 

I look forward to seeing you on the other side!]

Tiff

 

LEGAL DISCLAIMER

This information is provided for educational purposes only. It is not intended to cure or treat any medical conditions. This protocol is not a substitute for medical advice. Consult with a doctor or a medical professional before taking any herbs or supplements.

 

How I kicked anxiety to the curb..

The beginning of this year was particularly tricky for me, external challenges had my head in a spin. For the first time in my life I began to suffer with the dreaded anxiety – so much so that I thought it was beginning to be who I was… I only knew I had it, when I felt it dissolve for a moment.. to think ‘oh wow’ a feeling I had carried for so long was not there for a moment (usually when I practiced yoga it would disappear and I was get a sense of relief) So I came to be aware that I was suffering  with a functioning form of anxiety, constantly in a state of Fight or Flight where my body was on high alert. As it worsened I began to experience heart palpitations, shortness of breath, insomnia, my cycle became irregular,  felt ‘wired and tied’.. I became extra sensitive to caffeine (though I craved it for the energy) and my good old glass of organic red would cause my heart to beat out of my chest during the early hours of the morning, when I would lie there with all sorts of yucky feelings in my mind.

So I began my journey to heal. I knew I had to look at my external environment as well as internally.. to bring my body, mind and soul back into balance. I knew that it was possible to shift what was happening to me, that it wasn’t me.. nor is it any of us. Our bodies want to be healthy, they are in a constantly striving for health.. Our hearts beat to keep us alive, our body can control our temperature to within a few degrees without us even having to think about it. All pretty amazing, right? And symptoms such as anxiety is  a sign our body out of balance, it’s not ‘normal’, it’s not something we have to become accustomed to living with and accepting. We can drastically improve and even eliminate that shitty and sometimes debilitating stress and anxiety. Through diet and lifestyle habits.

So, this is what worked for me… and I’m not suggesting it will be your magic pill, as we are all bio-individuals and each of our circumstances are completely different, complex and unique to us. There are obviously many causes, most of which can be controlled to a certain extent by the choices we make on a daily basis. Maybe (Im hoping) this may inspire you to begin your journey, to navigate your way to a more stress-free, liberating, calm and happy life.

  1. Magnesium. The great relaxer. I Love a nice long soak in a the bath with some magnesium and essential oils such as lavender, cedar wood and DoTERRA Aromatouch
  2. Cacao Drinking elixir made with coconut oil and DoTERRA essential oils. I feel a shift almost instantly once I take a sip. I like to enjoy as a coffee substitute in the morning or as a bedtime ritual in the PM (No suppose cacao is has the highest amount of magnesium of all foods on the planet)
  3. DoTERRA Frankincense – I whiff, rub into my temples and drop under my tongue
  4. Meditation & Diaphragm Breathing. Mostly for 15 mins first thing in the morning, then whenever I could – waiting for the kids at the bus stop, washing the dishes mind fully, etc. Such a simple and effective tool to switch our body from “flight or fight’ to ‘rest & digest’
  5. Yoga Yoga Yoga.. 
  6. Becoming aware of my internal chatter. journaling is a great way to release negative thoughts, also just being mindful of how you speak to yourself internally and then becoming your own best friend, being more compassionate and kind, loving yourself!
  7. kinesiology. A great modality to release stored and trapped emotions within the body. Quite powerful! Tears were shed..  what a great release!

Now, obviously I havent gone into too much detail about all of the above. If you would like any info on any of these then please don’t hesitate to leave me a comment or contact me. And if your not yet a DoTERRA wholesale customer of mine, please click https://tiffanycowley.wordpress.com/essential-oils/ to join me. As you as you have enrolled I will be notified via email and will be your personal essential oil educator!

Namaste

Tiff